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A recent episode of the Child Mind Institute’s Thriving Kids podcast focused on how caregivers can help children to build positive and healthy friendships.

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In the episode, podcast host Dave Anderson, PhD, who is the senior psychologist and vice president of public engagement and education for the Child Mind Institute, discussed the topic of helping children build healthy friendships with Mandi Silverman, PsyD, MBA.

In the podcast, the two of them discuss how to support a child’s social development, whether they are in preschool or high school, and regardless of their nature – shy or socially successful.

One way to do this is to help children to meet other children. Set up playdates for younger children for outings to playgrounds, museums, parks, libraries, or other places. For older children, encourage participation in teams, after-school clubs, or shared-interest activities.

Caregivers should have open conversations about the traits their families value – such as kindness, honesty, or teamwork – and ask children what they believe makes someone a good friend.

Using real-life examples to teach friend-making skills can be valuable. Caregivers can talk about their own friendships and how they treat people in their lives.

It is also useful to teach children how to set healthy boundaries – in other words, helping them to learn to say “no” in respectful ways and to recognize when someone else is doing the same. Caregivers can also explain that different people have different needs and comfort levels.

The podcast included eight tips to help children make and keep healthy friendships:

• Create and support a variety of opportunities for socialization and focus on a child’s interests and encourage activities where they can meet peers with similar interests.
• Create an open and ongoing conversation about healthy relationships and discuss what matters in a friend.
• Praise good friendship behaviors. When you see a child showing empathy or setting a boundary, show support for it.
• Model healthy relationships – in other words, let children see how you show up for the people in your life.
• Help children to set their own boundaries. Peer pressure starts at a young age. Teach children how to speak up and how to listen when others do.
• Practice at home by playing board games or doing chores together. This teaches collaboration, communication, and turn-taking.
• Work on problem-solving skills. Conflict is normal, so teach your child to consider others’ perspectives and work toward solutions.
• Be involved – but not too involved. Create opportunities and offer guidance, but give children space to navigate social situations on their own.

For more information, listen to the Thriving Kids podcast.