Discussing Police Brutality and More with Young Children

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Children across the United States become aware of the ongoing racism through the news or witnessing racism in their communities. Understand that children are aware of racial differences very early in their lives. By age 2-4, children can internalize racial bias (Healthy Children). It is important to discuss race and racism openly and honestly with children.

Many children of color have experienced such racism themselves, or seen it affect their loved ones. From police brutality to attacks on Asian Americans, racism can be frightening and confusing for children (Child Mind Institute).

Strategies for Discussing Police Brutality, Violence, and Protests with Young Children

Here are a few ways to navigate conversations with your children on discussing police brutality, violence, and protest.

Validate Their Feelings

Validate the child’s feelings, fears, or worries, even when what they are saying may make you uncomfortable.

Children might share their emotions with you by acting out their worries with toys or expressing themselves through art. Acknowledge their feelings by asking them broad questions, such as “How did the news make you feel and think? What did it make you think about?” (Child Mind Institute).

Have Open Conversations

Speak directly about race to help children understand how racial disparities impact people of color. The Child Mind Institute explains, “It may seem obvious, but be sure to emphasize that racial violence is wrong. It’s easy for kids (especially little ones) to think that bad things happen to people of color because the people are themselves bad. […] Emphasize to your child that Black people and other people of color are good and that being a person of color doesn’t make you bad. Treating people unfairly is a bad thing, and people of color have been treated unfairly for a long time.”

Speak calmly, but don’t hide your emotions. Talking about violence and police brutality may be difficult and raise negative emotions for you, as well. Let your child know that this topic is difficult to talk about and suggest taking a break. Remind your child that you can continue the conversation later. In addition, parents and caregivers need to take care of their mental well-being amidst violence and racism. This ensures that their child feels safe and cared for in these conversations. (USA Today)

Address Their Fears

When discussing police brutality with your children, it may become evident your children have fears. If your child is fearful of police officers, describe how most police officers want to help people. They help our communities by making sure cars don’t go too fast or helping when something has been stolen. However, some police officers do break the law. Parents and caregivers should let their children know that they are safe. The conversation about police brutality may differ depending on the child’s age race, and experiences. Ensure the child feels safe, especially if they have witnessed police brutality before. Black children may fear police brutality more because they identify themselves and their loved ones as potential targets. It may be harder for parents and caregivers to reassure them that they are safe (WBUR). One Talk at a Time supports Latinx American, Asian American, African American, and Block youth and their families to have conversations about race and ethnicity.

Ensure Them You are a Safe Space

Tell your child that they can talk to you about race and racism anytime. Reassure them that you are there if they have questions or are feeling scared, sad, or worried. Sharing stories of hope and resilience with your children shows them that good people are helping to improve society (Common Sense Media). Reading children’s books on race and violence can facilitate conversations about these difficult topics. Additionally, children may think about race unconsciously. Continue asking them questions about their feelings and thoughts (WBUR).

Supporting Children’s Mental Health Amid Anti-Black Racial Violence

Racism has been linked to increasing risks for conditions like heart disease, cancer, diabetes, or drug abuse. Racism can exacerbate physical health issues facing the Black community but also mental health as well. Black individuals are less likely to seek mental health treatment. Only one-third of Black Americans who need mental health care receive it (Sunshine Behavioral Health). Racism has been linked to birth disparities and mental health problems in children and adolescents (American Academy of Pediatrics).

Caring for the Caregiver

Parents and caregivers may experience situations where they are attempting to support their child’s mental health but also must take care of themselves to be a resource for their children.

Seek professional support, if needed. Sometimes children’s or caregivers’ experience of racial trauma can lead to serious traumatic stress that requires professional support. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) recommends seeking help from a mental health clinician if serious problems persist for longer than six weeks (Child Trends).

Ongoing individual and collective psychological or physical injuries due to exposure and re-exposure to race-based adversity, discrimination, and stress, referred to as racial trauma, are harmful to children’s development and well-being. Events that may cause racial trauma include threats of harm and injury, hate speech, humiliating and shaming events, or any other form of individual, historical, or institutional racism. Children also experience racial trauma after hearing about or witnessing another person’s direct experiences, often referred to as secondary traumatic stress or vicarious trauma.

To help protect children from the harmful effects of racial trauma, caregivers must start talking to them about race and racism early—when children are very young and first develop a sense of racial identity (Child Trends).

Additional Resources

Beyond discussing police brutality, violence, and protests, here are a few resources to facilitate healthy conversations on race and equity.