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DAP Category: National

Practicing Mindfulness for Parents

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March 25, 2022

Practicing Mindfulness for Parents

Practicing mindfulness for parents is one way to stay grounded throughout the crazy schedule and life of being a parent. Learning to practice compassion, live in the present moment, and be grateful for the things in your life will go a long way toward improving your clarity, focus, and mood from day to day.

About Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a helpful way to decompress if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It helps you notice your emotions and calm yourself in stressful situations. It includes breathing exercises, guided meditations, and taking a step back from difficult situations. These habits can give you the time and emotional space you need to solve problems at home. 

Mindfulness Activities

Here are some mindfulness activities for parents to practice:

For a comprehensive list of examples, visit the Waterford website.

Local Mindfulness Programs

  • Awaken Pittsburgh offers free monthly guided meditations open to anyone.
  • Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Courses (UPMC Integrative Medicine) MBSR is an eight-week, evidence-based, highly experiential course that is currently offered at more than 250 hospitals, universities, and clinical settings in the United States and around the world. MBSR primarily aims to help participants develop skills they can flexibly apply to stress, pain, and illness in everyday life. Through experiential learning and discussion during class, and daily mindfulness practice at home, participants learn and refine a range of self-regulatory skills that involve finely tuned attention to thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Call 412-623-3023 or visit the UPMC website.
  • The Penn Program for Mindfulness provides powerful tools for coping and personal growth while combining modern cognitive science with ancient mindfulness techniques. Participants learn to reconnect with the source of meaning in their lives, be steady in the most difficult moments, and connect more deeply with what matters most to them. Mindfulness approaches help individuals to let go of unproductive habits and reactivity. Learn more on The Penn Program for Mindfulness website.

Support Resources for Parents and Caregivers

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Support Resources for Parents and Caregivers

Parents and caregivers of young children are tasked with ensuring that their children’s needs are met. The following resources are available for parenting help and support those individuals as they also work to take care of themselves.

Support Resources

For Parenting Help and Support

Jerimiah’s Place

Jerimiah’s Place provides families in Pittsburgh and surrounding areas with emergency child care for children ages zero to six completely free of charge. Children can stay at Jerimiah’s Place for a few hours or a few days based on the needs of each family. Because Jerimiah’s Place does not operate as a drop-in center, families must register for an intake appointment. For more information, visit the Jerimiah’s Place website or call 412.924.0726.

PA 211

If you need to connect with resources in your community but don’t know where to look, PA 211 is a great place to start. At the PA 211 website, you can get connected with services such as family/parent support groups, marriage counseling, education programs, and other assistance.

Allegheny County Family Centers

All 27 Allegheny County Family Centers offer activities kids, parents, and caregivers of all ages can take part in. Activities and various support services are free to parents and their children. Stay up-to-date with your local family center by visiting the Allegheny County Family Center website.

Single Mom Defined

Single Mom Defined is a safe space for single mothers to seek advice and support, share stories and resources, and build new friendships. This group is open to all current and former single moms, no matter their race, religion, or location. Women-leading organizations serving single mothers and families can connect moms to resources and information to help them thrive.

Single Mom Defined’s babysitting cooperative is open to mothers in Clairton, East Hills, Homewood (including Lincoln, Larimer, and Lemington), and the Hilltop (including Arlington, Beltzhoover, and Knoxville). 

Learn more at the Single Mom Defined website.

For Adoptive Parents

PA’s Statewide Adoption & Permanency Network (SWAN) 

The Statewide Adoption and Permanency Network (SWAN) is a partnership among the Department of Human Services (DHS), the Pennsylvania Adoption Exchange, public and private adoption agencies, organizations, advocates, judges, the legal community, and foster and adoptive parents. SWAN provides post-adoption services like case advocacy to help families access services, support groups, and planned breaks through respite care. Families self-refer to SWAN Post-Permanency Services by calling the SWAN Helpline at 1-800-585-7926. Learn more on the SWAN website.

For Kinship Caregivers

KinConnector

PA KinConnector provides guidance, advice, and support for grandparents raising grandchildren and other relative and non-relative Kinship Caregivers. Learn more on the KinConnector website or by calling 1-866-546-2111.

For Multigenerational Caregivers (Taking Care of Parents and Children)

Pennsylvania Caregiver Support Program

The Pennsylvania Caregiver Support Program, provided through the DHS Area Agency on Aging,  provides resources and assistance to individuals who assume the primary responsibility for the provision of care to encourage a healthy, ongoing relationship with their care receiver. The program aims to alleviate the stresses associated with caregiving by focusing on the well-being of the caregiver. Services include providing access to respite care, addressing the need for formal and informal support, and providing financial reimbursement for out-of-pocket costs associated with caregiving-related services and supplies. Learn more on the Allegheny County DHS website.

Understanding Family Dynamics

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Understanding Family Dynamics

Familial relationships are amongst the first, and therefore, most foundational relationships of one’s life. With this, it is becoming increasingly important to be aware of their effects on children because of associated lasting outcomes. Parents are encouraged to understand family dynamics, not only to improve their relationships but also to enhance their child’s life. 

Defining Family Dynamics

To help families better understand ways to promote healthier family dynamics, the National Center for Biotechnology Information first clearly defined the term as, “the patterns of interactions among relatives, their roles and relationships, and the various factors that shape their interactions”. The NCBI article explains issues in family dynamics that are of concern, such as health, wellness, and recovery outcomes, as well as the clinical significance of the topic, which focuses on health-related outcomes. 

Why Are They Important?

In the existing research, the impact on health outcomes becomes critical in why healthy, adaptive family dynamics are important. Marital satisfaction can support the health and well-being of parents, which translates to more adaptive parent-child relationships that provide a multitude of positives, including cognitive, behavioral, physical, and mental health  (Lincoln, 2015). For more information on how to promote healthy family dynamics to achieve positive health outcomes for all members of the family, view the articles provided by healthychild.org on family dynamics. Some particularly helpful linked articles include:

  • Family Relationships: This short video shows Dr. Michael Rich explaining the value and importance that parent and sibling relationships hold in a child’s life. He also gives some helpful suggestions on ways to foster strong bonds within your family.
  • Normal Functioning Family: While there is no such thing as a “normal family”, this article explains how to promote healthy family functioning.
  • Feeling Overwhelmed With Parenting Demands?: Knowing that being a parent can often be overwhelming and stressful, this article offers some tips and tricks on how to bring it back down when you’re feeling maxed out. 

LGBTQ+ Families

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LGBTQ+ Families

In the past, children of LGBTQ+ families were from a previous different-sex relationship. Today, greater acceptance from society and technology advancements have allowed LGBTQ+ individuals to come out earlier in life and start their families as partners. Common ways that people of this community and same-sex couples are having children are through assisted reproductive technology, fostering, and adopting (Family Equality).

What Do LGBTQ+ Families Look Like?

With between 2-3.7 million children under 18 living with at least one LGBTQ+ parent (Family Equality), it is a rising question of how these families work. 

Research repeatedly finds that these families are very similar to different-sex parent families. These families can also be married, divorced, single-parent, cohabiting, etc. The SPSSI found five important research findings regarding the equality of LGBTQ+ families:

  1. LGBTQ+ people are equally as fit to marry and raise children.
  2. There is no foundation for the idea that LGBTQ+ mothers and fathers should not become parents because of their sexual orientation.
  3. Being involved in a relationship with (an) LGBTQ+ person(s) is unrelated to their ability to care for a child. 
  4. LGBTQ+ and heterosexual women show similar child-rearing practices.
  5. LGBTQ+ fathers are not found to be different from heterosexual fathers in their ability to parent or foster healthy development for the child. 

Learn More

Visit Family Equality’s postings to learn more about these families and the discrimination they face. 

The Movement Advancement Project also has various resource maps on helpful statistics. 

Resource List: Books to Celebrate Gender Expression, Inclusion, and Pride

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Resource List: Books to Celebrate Gender Expression, Inclusion, and Pride

Children need to see themselves, their characteristics, and their values reflected in the books that they read. For young children, sharing stories related to gender, gender expression, and pride can instill a sense of inclusion and empathy toward others. Below is a list of resources that recommend books related to LGBTQ+ inclusion for children. Note that this list is not exhaustive, and many wonderful children’s books exist that speak to these topics.

Gender Identity Books and Resources

Resource List: LGBTQ+ Organizations

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Resource List: LGBTQ+ Organizations

LGBTQ+ Organizations

Here is a list of national and Pittsburgh LGBTQ+ organizations.

National LGBTQ+ Organizations

These are national organizations:

Pittsburgh LGBTQ+ Organizations

These are local organizations:

Additional Resources

Here are some additional resources for Allegheny County and Pittsburgh LGBTQ+ organizations.

ACLU of Pennsylvania – Greater Pittsburgh Chapter

  • A civil rights organization that can provide legal information and help with discrimination complaints.

Allegheny County DHS LGBTQ Resources

  • A collection of websites, articles, and resources on LGBTQ health, civil rights, and other issues. There is a page specifically for LGBTQ youth.

GSLEN (Gay Straight Lesbian Educators Network)

  • A national nonprofit with resources to help schools become more LGBTQ+ inclusive.

Allegheny County LGBTQ Resource Guide

  • A list of organizations supporting the LGBTQ community in Allegheny County.

Learn more

Learn more about gender expression and identity with these resources:

 

How to Ask for and Receive Help

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How to Ask for and Receive Help

Are you always willing to help others but you don’t like asking for help?

Ask for Help

Caring for yourself is one of the most important, yet one of the most often forgotten, things you can do as a parent or a caregiver. 

Caring for others is one of the most selfless things someone can do, and requesting assistance might feel selfish or daunting. According to Psychology Today, we live “in a society that praises self-help and self-reliance, [and] it is becoming increasingly difficult for us to ask our colleagues, friends, and even our family for the assistance we need. The mere thought of needing help from others can eat away at our ego, undermine our confidence, make us question our abilities, and even paralyze us with anxiety.”

However, accepting help is necessary because when you take care of your own needs, the person (or people) you care for will benefit, too.

Make it a Habit

Allowing those around you to support you not only eases your responsibility load but can give someone who is helping a feeling of worth. Here are a few ways to make asking for and receiving help a habit:

  • Say yes. When someone offers to help you with a task, practice saying yes. Even if it seems like a mundane task, such as making a meal or picking up your child from school, it’s one less thing you have on your plate.
  • Examine your beliefs on receiving. For example:
  • What’s stopping you from accepting assistance from others?
  • Do you feel that you don’t deserve to receive love or support? If so, why do you feel that way?
  • Allow others to give. It takes two to give and receive, and consistently rejecting help from willing people can create roadblocks in a relationship.
  • Let those you trust know when you feel like you’re approaching the point of needing support or a step back. Give them time to prepare themselves so that they can be more effective when you do reach out.

Make a List of Helpers

Spend some time thinking about your friends, neighbors, or family members who you consider your support team. Ask them if it’s ok to count on them for support when you need it. 

It could make things easier to keep a handy list of people you know willing to help with certain tasks – such as meal planning, child care, moral support, or other specific tasks. Also, keep a list of people who have offered their help to you at some point. Even though you might never call upon these people, having the tangible proof that you are surrounded by support can ease stress.

Download a PDF to help keep track of your helpers.

Self-Care Resources for Parents and Caregivers

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Self-Care Resources for Parents and Caregivers

Self- Care Resources

Caregiving can often take a large toll on someone. However, if caregivers don’t take time time to prioritize themselves, they won’t be able to perform at their best. Here are some resources for parents and caregivers to practice self-care amidst their busy lives.

4 Tips to Manage Sandwich Generation Stress: Squeezed Between Parents and Kids, AARP

As the American population grows older, more families have more members with caregiving needs, and increasing numbers of caregivers have simultaneous obligations looking after multiple family members of various ages.

More Information

The AARP offers some insight on how to better support “sandwich generation caregivers” and convince them to better support themselves.

Pennsylvania KinConnector – Self-Care Tips

Self-care is taking care of yourself so you can be your best self for the children in your care. Pennsylvania KinConnector has offered some self-care tips.

More Information

This infographic from Pennsylvania KinConnector outlines some strategies to help fill you spiritually, physically, and emotionally as you take the necessary steps to give yourself the best care you need.

Self-Care Inventory, NAMI

Caregivers who pay attention to their own physical and emotional health are better able to handle the challenges of supporting someone else. Improving your relationship with yourself by maintaining your physical and mental health makes you more resilient, helping you weather hard times and enjoy good ones. 

More Information

This self-care inventory from the National Alliance on Mental Illness can serve as a temperature check for how you are doing with your self-care habits. 

“No” is a Complete Sentence, Mindful.org

Saying “no” is all about creating personal boundaries. This allows you to focus your time on doing the things that will make the most impact.

More Information

This article written by Shelly Tygielsky outlines the importance of setting up personal boundaries around what we are and aren’t willing to accept for our own mental stability. 

Support Gender Non-Conforming or Binary Young Children

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Support Gender Non-Conforming or Binary Young Children

Although families, educators, and other significant adults in young children’s lives have no control over children’s gender identities, they have extensive influence over children’s health and social-emotional wellbeing by communicating to them messages of being either respected and affirmed or shamed and rejected. Gender non-confirming or binary children have better mental health when adults support them in expressing their authentic gender identities (Include NYC).

Gender Identity and Gender Expression

Gender identity is “who you know yourself to be.” It is important to know that gender identity exists on a spectrum. A person’s gender identity can be masculine, feminine, or other.

Gender expression is how you express your gender to others, whether through behavior, clothing, hairstyle, the name you choose to go by, etc. Words to describe someone’s gender expression could be “masculine,” “feminine,” “androgynous,” etc. (Caring for Kids)

Supporting Non-Confirming or Binary Young Children

  • Assuming  your child’s gender expression is a form of rebellion or defiance can be harmful to them and to your relationship. Listen to them and ask questions about how they are feeling.
  • Focus on what brings your child joy and security. A child living with supportive parents and caregivers is likely to be a happier child. Don’t try to shame or punish your child for their gender expression or identity.
  • Connect with other families who have a gender-diverse child. This can help reduce any isolation you and your child might be experiencing. Look for an in-person or online support group.
  • Don’t belittle or ridicule your child’s gender expression or allow others in your family to do so. Don’t prevent your child from expressing gender in public or at family activities to avoid it making you or someone else uncomfortable.
  • Speak positively about your child to your child and to others. Show your admiration for your child’s identity and expression of it. (Mayo Clinic)

Parentification

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Parentification

ownWith numbers on the rise, parentification is coming to light in the conversation of family dynamics. This role reversal negatively impacts children’s development and leads to maladaptive adulthood. The two types of parentification have different impacts, but neither seem to yield much positivity. It becomes important that parents and children remain in their appropriate roles for proper developmental progression. 

About

Parentification is a term used to describe the process where “children are assigned the role of an adult, taking on both emotional and functional responsibilities that typically are performed by the parent”. The term includes several subtypes. Instrumental parentification occurs when parents assign the child functional duties, such as grocery shopping and paying bills. With more detrimental outcomes, emotional parentification describes when the child is expected to provide the emotional and psychological needs of a parent (Engelhardt 2012).

Consequences of Parentifying a Child

Often, when a child goes through parentification, they continue to take on more and more responsibility for the parent to receive praise or attention. This can escalate to the child disregarding their own needs and tasks for the parents (Engelhardt 2012).

Both research and common discussions of parentification, often find that a consequence of this process are attachment issues. Insecure attachment has cascading effects on behavior, emotional regulation, and more that can continue into problem behaviors in adulthood. Specifically, there appears to be a link between maternal behaviors and parentification. Mothers who experienced parentification during their childhood tend to be less warm towards their children and often push parentification on them. This results in externalizing behavior problems in children that are found to follow them into adulthood and even, then, their own families (Nutall et. al, 2012). This research further reinforces the need to look at the big picture of family dynamics because one detrimental relationship can have a snowball effect. 

Other issues that may arise as a result of parentification include:

  • Extreme anxiety over abandonment and loss
  • Difficulty handling rejection and disappointment
  • Depression 
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Mental health issues
  • Trauma/PTSD