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April 23, 2021

Respecting Your Child’s Boundaries

Respecting your child’s boundaries matters.

Every person has their own preferences when it comes to physical touch, and that includes young children. While touch is a fundamental need for babies and toddlers, it is important to teach children that they are allowed to set boundaries and have the self-confidence to stick to them. This helps them advocate for themselves and plays an important role in teaching them how to identify and get away from inappropriate or dangerous interactions with adults or others.

Your child may not be comfortable hugging a person they do not know (even if that person is a family member), or they may have moments where they do not want to be tickled or touched. While it can be difficult to hear your child say that they do not want to hug or touch at that time, caregivers should not assume that a child is comfortable with an interaction or demand that they participate in that interaction. By asking for consent, caregivers help their children identify and vocalize their boundaries. These skills not only help them in the present moment but also benefit them long-term.

Resources

If you are interested in learning more about the benefits of teaching your child about boundaries and strategies to support, check out the following resources:

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Child Wellness Brochures, Fred Rogers Center

About

Inspired by the legacy and work of Fred Rogers, the Fred Rogers Center created free, downloadable Child Wellness Brochures to support children and caregivers on a variety of topics related to child wellness. As Fred Rogers said, “Even in hard times such as this, you are just what your child needs.”

View the Guides

The Fred Rogers Center’s Child Wellness Brochures provide information and resources on the following topics: Grief, Addiction, Cancer, and Divorce & Separation. Hard copies are also available to order. To order copies, contact info@fredrogerscenter.org.

More Information

For more information, visit the Fred Rogers Center website.

 

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Family Resources of Pennsylvania Parenting Warmline

Parenting support is available.

Are you the parent or caregiver of a young child? Are you looking for parenting support? The Family Resources of Pennsylvania Parenting Warmline is here to help.

About

The Family Resources of Pennsylvania Parenting Warmline is a free, confidential hotline for parents and caregivers with non-medical parenting concerns and questions. The Parenting Warmline is also able to provide referrals.

The hotline is available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and from 1 to 5 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays. Individuals who wish to call outside of those hours can leave a confidential voicemail message. A trained counselor will return the call as soon as possible.

Contact the Warmline

    • Main Number: 412.641.4546
    • If you live in Allegheny County, call 1.877.927.6596.
    • If you live outside of Allegheny County, call 1.800.641.4546.

Learn More

Family Resources of Pennsylvania provides a range of prevention, intervention, treatment, and counseling services. For more information, visit their website.

 

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Self-Care: Resources for Families

Self-Care Matters

The COVID-19 pandemic has been challenging for children and adults alike. While it can seem impossible to juggle both your needs and your family’s everyday needs, make sure to prioritize your well-being as a parent or caregiver. This will not only benefit your health and wellbeing but will also benefit your family.

About

To help families identify ways to prioritize self-care, Child Mind Institute created the resource, “Self-Care in the Time of Coronavirus.” The resource explores strategies families can incorporate, including setting boundaries, prioritizing healthy choices, reconnecting with things you enjoy, and more.

Self-Care Resources

For information on how to prioritize self-care, view the full article by Child Mind Institute and check out the following resources:

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Social-Emotional Development: Family Resources

Support your child’s development.

Social-emotional skills play an important role in the lives of parents, caregivers, and children. If you are interested in learning about social-emotional development, activities, tools, and more, check out our list of resources below.

Social-Emotional Development

Self-Esteem and Confidence

Challenging Emotions and Behaviors

Family Guides and Tip Sheets

Activities for Children

Self Care

Support Services

Developmental Concerns

Early Intervention

COVID-19

News

Emergency Reference Guide for Babysitters, American Red Cross

This easy-to-carry, compact booklet provides step-by-step instructions to handle common emergencies for babysitters such as bee stings and asthma attacks.

About

It’s important for children to be safe, no matter who is taking care of them. The American Red Cross’ Emergency Reference Guide for Babysitters outlines steps babysitters can take for common injuries and emergency situations such as choking, poisoning or sudden illnesses. Download it now.

 

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Creating a Safe Sleep Environment for Children

Safe sleep practices to follow for your children.

Infants and Babies

Because babies spend much of their time sleeping, the nursery – or their sleeping environment –  should be the safest area in the house.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are about 3,500 sudden unexpected infant deaths (SUID) in the United States. These deaths occur among infants younger than one. Two main causes include sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and accidental strangulation or suffocation in bed.

SIDS is the unexplained death, usually during sleep, of a seemingly healthy baby less than a year old. Though the exact cause of SIDs is unknown, research shows parents and caregivers can help reduce its risk and that of other sleep-related deaths.

If you just had a baby, are expecting, or are taking care of a young infant it’s important to implementing safe sleep practices including:  

  • Placing a baby on its back to sleep – Infants should be placed for sleep on their back for every sleep by every caregiver until the child reaches one year of age. Side and stomach sleeping is not safe and is not advised. Infants should never be left to sleep on sofas, armchairs, or in sitting devices.
  • Removing suffocation hazards – A firm mattress and fitted sheet are all you need for your baby’s crib. Remove soft bedding, blankets, pillows, toys, crib bumper pads, pacifier clips, or any other items that could obstruct infant breathing or cause overheating should be in the bed.
  • Avoiding bed sharing – Infants should sleep in the parents’ room, close to the parents’ bed but on a separate surface (room sharing). The infant’s crib, portable crib, play yard or bassinet should be placed in the parent’s bedroom for at least 6 months but preferably a year. The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) offers safety standards for bedside sleepers. There are no safety standards for in-bed sleepers.

Toddlers and Young Children

The move from a crib to a bed doesn’t come at the same time for everyone. If a child is comfortable in a crib, there’s no need for a move, but some children are ready sooner than others. Here are some safety considerations to make before your child graduates from a crib to a toddler bed or kid-sized bed:

  • Does your child climb out of the crib? Ideally, babies would remain in their cribs closer to pre-k age, but the switch should happen before a child begins to climb out of the crib and possibly hurt themselves. Most toddlers have the ability to climb out of a crib when they are 35 inches tall. Keep the crib mattress on the lowest setting to make it harder to climb out.
  • Is the bed safety certified? Keep it low to the ground and make sure it comes equipped with guardrails to keep your child from falling out. Check for a sticker from the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA) on the bed and any portable rails you purchase.
  • Remove all hazards from the child’s room and the rest of the home. Once the crib bars are removed, your child is no longer confined to a small space. They’re given a newfound freedom to explore their bedroom – and the whole house, for that matter.
  • A big kid bed should be positioned in the center of the room, if possible, or at least a few feet away from a wall. Even at this older age, there is still a risk of suffocation if they become trapped between the wall and the bed.
  • Ensure that window blind cords or electronics cords like baby monitors, which can be strangulation hazards, are out of reach. Watch for items that your toddler might be able to pull into bed, like picture frames, lamps, etc.
  • Secure the stairs with gates at the top and bottom, bolt bookshelves and televisions to the wall, and put safety latches on dresser drawers so they can’t pull them out and use them to climb.
  • Consider using a monitor or attach bells to the door so you know when your child leaves the bedroom.

 

News

Car Seat Safety for Children

Car seat use reduces the risk for injury in crashes by 71% to 82%.

Choosing the Right Car Seat for Your Child

Car crashes are a leading cause of injury or death for children. The CDC states that car seat use reduces the risk for injury in crashes by 71% to 82% for children when compared with seat belt use alone. Did you know that more than half of car seats are not used or installed correctly?

The best way to keep your child safe every time you get in a vehicle is to ensure that you’re using the right car seat and that you’re using it the correct way. It can be overwhelming and intimidating, so parents, expectant parents, caregivers should take the time to research available options and find the seat that is appropriate for your child’s age, weight, and height (as well as your car model). 

There are a variety of car seat options available for parents, and one size does not fit all. Here’s a look at some of the options available:

Car seats come with a user manual with detailed instructions for installing and buckling your child. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration also maintains a directory of many car seat inspection stations. More detailed information can be found in the Resources section.

Staying Safe in the Seat

Choosing and installing a car seat is definitely a large part of the process to keep your child safe in the car, but it doesn’t stop there. Each time you leave the house in a vehicle, you need to check that your child is strapped in correctly and external factors do not impact the efficacy of the seat. 

Here are some things to consider: 

  • Bulky clothing, including winter coats and snowsuits, can compress in a crash and leave the straps too loose to restrain your child, leading to increased risk of injury. Ideally, dress your baby in thinner layers and wrap a coat or blanket around your baby over the buckled harness straps if needed.​ Car seat safe coats also are popping up on the market. Learn more Winter Car Seat Safety Tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics and Pennsylvania’s Promise for Children.
  • Do not place padding under or behind your child or use any sort of car safety seat insert unless it came with the seat or was made by the manufacturer for use with that specific seat. When you add comfort items (like custom car seat covers, head supports, strap covers and winter inserts), you’re changing the way the seat fits and protects your child. 
  • Be wary of toys in the car. Choose toys that are soft and will not hurt your child in a crash. Secure any loose objects in the car
  • Never leave your child alone in the car. 
  • Allow time for snacking before you get in the car. It’s hard to attend to a child who is choking when you are driving, so it’s best not to give food in the car. If a child needs to eat during a long trip, stop or offer a liquid or a pouch in the car to reduce the risk of choking. 
  • Do not use seats that have been in a moderate or severe crash. Seats that were in a minor crash may still be safe to use, but some car safety seat manufacturers recommend replacing the seat after any crash, even a minor one. The NHTSA considers a crash minor if all the following situations are true:
    • The vehicle could be driven away from the crash.
    • The vehicle door closest to the car safety seat was not damaged.
    • No one in the vehicle was injured.
    • The airbags did not go off.
    • You can’t see any damage to the car safety seat.

Safety on Public Transportation

Travel with children isn’t always limited to cars. Parents and caregivers might have to take their young children on other forms of transportation such as airplanes, buses, or trains. The following resources outline safe guidelines:

 

 

 

 

News

Safe Interactions Between Pets, Animals, and Young Children

Animals always need to be supervised when they are in a room with children, and they should never be left alone.

Using Proper Hygiene Practices Around Animals

Animals can carry bacteria, parasites and viruses that can be spread to humans causing illnesses in humans. Children younger than five are more likely to get sick from germs animals carry because they often touch contaminated surfaces and put their hands in their mouths. Their immune systems also are developing. 

Children should not kiss, snuggle, or hold animals close to their faces, and they should not let animals lick their faces. 

The CDC also recommends that children younger than five years old avoid contact with the following animals due to harmful bacteria that they might carry:

  • Reptiles (lizards, snakes, and turtles)
  • Amphibians (frogs, toads, newts, and salamanders)
  • Backyard poultry, including baby chicks or ducklings
  • Rodents (rats, mice, hamsters, gerbils, and guinea pigs)

Hand washing is essential to stopping the spreading of germs. To ensure appropriate handwashing techniques after playing with pets or visiting fairs, pet stores, farms, petting zoos, and exhibits, parents and teachers should supervise children. 

Always wash your hands and your child’s hands after:

  • Touching or playing with pets
  • Feeding or handling pet food
  • Handling pet habitats or equipment (cages, tanks, toys, food and water dishes, etc.)
  • Cleaning up after pets
  • Leaving areas where animals live (coops, barns, stalls, etc.), even if you did not touch an animal

Safe Interactions Between Pets, Babies, and Young Children

No matter how trustworthy you think your pet is, animals are unpredictable. 

If you have pets, it might be a hard transition for them when a new baby comes home. Your pet’s schedule is likely to change, and they’ll be getting different amounts of attention from you.

To make the transition as smooth as possible, it’s important to take the time to prepare your dog or cat for the arrival of a baby.  Taking the following steps can help minimize anxiety or unwanted behaviors from your pet that could harm your baby:

  • Work on obedience skills with your pet. If you have a dog, consider enrolling in a training class.
  • Introduce your pet to new experiences – such as sights and sounds- that they will encounter when a baby is home. Baby gates, lotions, and strollers on walks can help your pet get used to changes in the environment.
  • Anticipate any schedule changes that will happen with a new baby and start implementing them a few months before the baby arrives. 

Animals always need to be supervised when they are in a room with children, and they should never be left alone. 

Because of risk of suffocation, pets should never be allowed to sleep with an infant. Close the nursery door and use a baby monitor to prevent a dog or cat from sneaking into the room.

When a baby is old enough to crawl or walk, teach them to stay away from a pet’s toys, food bowls, and litter boxes. Safety gates can keep babies out of a cat’s litter box while offering cats access.  

Young babies often grab anything their hands can reach, including a pet’s fur, ears, and tails. You can teach a toddler how to gently handle a pet and practice with them so the child and pet get used to interacting with each other.  Always supervise interactions so that you can guide your child and play an active role in the development of a relationship between your child and your pet. 

Teach your children how to approach or interact with animals, and set rules like:

  • Always ask for permission before approaching or petting an animal; don’t approach an unfamiliar animal
  • Don’t tease the animal or pull on its leash, collar, ears, or tail
  • Don’t touch an animal’s food or toys, as some are territorial
  • Don’t chase the animal
  • Let the animal leave if it wants to leave
  • Wash your hands after touching an animal 
  • Use quiet voices
  • Keep faces away from the animal

Never force an interaction between a child and a pet. If either seems uncomfortable or nervous, give them time to get comfortable and let them approach each other on their own terms. This minimizes the risk of injury for both the child and the pet.

What to Do When a Pet Bites a Child

Animal bites can be prevented, yet more than 4.5 million people are bitten by dogs each year in the U.S. Children are the most common victims of dog bites, and at least half of the 800,000 people who receive medical care for dog bites each year are children, according to the CDC.

To reduce the number of injuries from dog bites — and bites from other pets in general — adults and children should be educated about bite prevention.

Dogs and cats, specifically, bite or scratch for a variety of reasons – they feel threatened, scared, territorial, or they do so during play.  

If you encounter an aggressive pet:

  • Stand still and avoid looking into its eyes
  • If it attacks, hold something in between you and the pet
  • If you fall, curl into a ball with your hands over your ears and don’t move

If your child is bitten and/or scratched:

  • Clean the wound with soap and water immediately 
  • Consult with your child’s pediatrician as soon as possible. Some wounds might need stitches or other treatments such as antibiotics, tetanus vaccine, or rabies vaccine might be necessary. 
  • If your child doesn’t need medical attention, apply antibiotic ointment and watch for any signs of infection

 

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Teaching Young Children About Interacting with Strangers

Children need to learn how to identify and respond to dangerous situations.

“Stranger danger,” the idea or warning that all strangers can potentially be dangerous, is a common slogan among parents and young children. However, teaching “stranger danger” can actually be more harmful for children in certain situations because they might avoid asking someone they don’t know for help if they are in trouble.

The generalization of “never talk to strangers” doesn’t fully educate children about how to keep themselves safe. According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, the majority of abduction and sexual abuse cases are committed by someone the child knows. 

Teaching Children About Stranger Interaction

Children need to learn how to identify and respond to dangerous situations. Parents, caregivers, and teachers should tailor safety messages for specific situations and use role playing so children can be confident in steps to take. KidSmartz offers a list of safety scenarios to practice.

Some ways to help children include:

  • Teaching them to stay put and not wander away if they become lost. Staying where they are increases children’s chances of being found unless that place becomes too dangerous because of severe weather or another potentially threatening situation. In that case children need to go to the nearest safe spot and wait for rescuers. They also can make noise either by yelling, blowing a whistle, or attracting attention in some other way. This may help bring someone to their rescue.
  • Helping them recognize the warning signs of suspicious behavior, such as when an adult asks them to disobey their parents or do something without permission, asks them to keep a secret, asks children for help, or makes them feel uncomfortable in any way. Sometimes children feel like they need to agree to what adults are asking. Make sure that your children know that it is okay to say no to an adult in a dangerous situation.
  • Teaching them about “safe strangers” or people they can go to for help if they need to, such as a uniformed police officer, an adult with kids, a teacher, a store clerk, etc.
  • Giving them a “safe code word.” If an adult wants your child to get in their car, they must know the safe word.
  • Giving them acceptable and appropriate control of their bodies. Don’t scold children for refusing to kiss or hug others if they don’t want to. This can send mixed signals and might give them the impression that it’s ok to be forced into an uncomfortable situation.
  • Teaching them that it’s ok to stand up for themselves and tell people “no” if something makes them uncomfortable. Explain that they should tell you about these kinds of incidents as soon as possible. 

Having these conversations with children will equip them with the awareness and confidence they need to handle potentially dangerous situations.