March 25, 2022 Family Guide: Gender and Gender Identity Gender identity development is a normal process for all children. Some children will exhibit variations―similar to all areas of human health and behavior. However, all children need support, love, and care from family, school, and society, which fosters growth into happy and healthy adults (Healthy Children). Gender Identity Development Parents can support healthy gender identity development by loving and accepting their children through their developmental stages. Unconditional support will reduce the feelings of shame that may occur when a child isn’t able to express their gender identity. Important Terms Sex at birth: When children are born, sex is assigned based on external genitalia. A child who has a penis is said to be male. A child who has a vulva is said to be female. Gender identity: Gender identity is “who you know yourself to be”. It is important to know that gender identity exists on a spectrum. A person’s gender identity can be masculine, feminine, or other. Gender expression: This is how you express your gender to others, whether through behavior, clothing, hairstyle, the name you choose to go by, etc Gender Identity Development at Each Age Infancy Children observe messages about gender from adults’ appearances, activities, and behaviors. 18 to 24 Months Toddlers begin to define gender, using messages from many sources. As they develop a sense of self, toddlers look for patterns in their homes and early care settings. Gender is one way to understand group belonging, which is important for secure development. (Office of Head Start Early Childhood Learning and Knowledge Center) Two to three years old At around two years old, children are aware of differences between boys and girls. Most children can identify themselves as a “boy” or “girl”. This term may or may not match the assigned sex at birth. Some children’s gender identity remains stable over their lives, while others may alternate between identifying themselves as “boy” or “girl”, or even assume other gender identities at different times (sometimes even on the same day). This is normal and healthy. (Caring for Kids) Four to five years old Children become more aware of gender expectations or stereotypes as they grow older. For example, they may think that certain toys are only for girls or boys. Some children may express their gender very strongly. For example, a child might go through a stage of insisting on wearing a dress every day or refusing to wear a dress even on special occasions. (Caring for Kids) Six to seven years old Many children begin to reduce outward expressions of gender as they feel more confident that others recognize their gender. For example, a girl may not feel that she has to wear a dress every day because she knows that others see her as a girl no matter what she wears. Children who feel their gender identity is different from the assigned sex at birth may experience increased social anxiety because they want to be like their peers, but realize they don’t feel the same way. (Caring for Kids) Eight years old and older Pre-teens and teens continue to develop their gender identity through personal reflection and with input from their social environment, like peers, family, and friends. Some gender-stereotyped behaviors may appear. You may notice your teen or pre-teen making efforts to “play up” or “downplay” some of their body’s physical changes. As puberty begins, some youth may realize that their gender identity is different from their assigned sex at birth. Because some children’s gender identification may change, especially around puberty, families are encouraged to keep options open for their children. (Caring for Kids) Ways to Be Supportive There are a variety of ways that parents can support their child through development, and engage them in healthy, developmentally appropriate ways about their gender expression and identity. Communicate Talk with your child about gender identity. As soon as your child can say words like “girl” and “boy,” they are beginning to understand gender. Ask questions! This is a great way to hear your child’s ideas about gender. Ask your child’s teachers how they support gender expression and what they teach about gender identity at school. Speak positively about your child to your child and to others. Show your admiration for your child’s identity and expression of it. (Mayo Clinic) Assuming your child’s gender expression is a form of rebellion or defiance can be harmful to them and to your relationship. Listen to them and ask questions about how they are feeling. Provide Resources Read books with your child that talk about many different ways to be a boy, a girl, or have another gender identity. If accessible, provide a variety of toys for your child to choose from, including baby dolls, toy vehicles, action figures, blocks, etc. Utilize books, puppets, and other toys to think through, act out, and challenge gender norms. Connect Be aware that a child who is worrying about gender may show signs of depression, anxiety, and poor concentration. They may not want to go to school. If you are concerned about your child’s emotional health, talk to your child’s family doctor, pediatrician, or other mental health professionals. Connect with other families who have a gender-diverse child. This can help reduce any isolation you and your child might be experiencing. Look for an in-person or online support group. Ways NOT to Support Don’t pressure your child to change who they are. Focus on what brings your child joy and security. A child living with supportive parents and caregivers is likely to be a happier child. Don’t try to shame or punish your child for their gender expression or identity. Don’t belittle or ridicule your child’s gender expression or allow others in your family to do so. Don’t prevent your child from expressing gender in public or at family activities to avoid it making you or someone else uncomfortable. Resources Local Resources Dreams of Hope Hugh Lane Wellness Foundation PERSAD Center PFLAG Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Equality Center (Formerly GLCC) Project Silk Proud Haven National Resources GSA Network LGBT National Youth Talkline The Trevor Project Download a PDF version of this resource.
Family Guide: Family Dynamics Ensuring children are given the appropriate environment to develop is important to caretaking. Understanding family dynamics is critical to a child’s development of a foundational familial environment to be constructive and healthy to promote growth and positive life outcomes. Support for Healthy Family Dynamics Understanding Different Family Structures Families come in all shapes and sizes, and we emphasize that one family structure is not placed above another. From nuclear families to single-parent families to stepfamilies, all families have the potential to have supportive family dynamics. However, understanding the basics of your family structure can be the first step in understanding your family dynamics. Family types classified most often are nuclear, single-parent, extended, childless, step-, and grandparent families. Sibling Relationships Sibling relationships are some of the earliest relationships a child makes. These relationships have an impact on development. A positive sibling relationship has a positive influence on child development. Through sibling relationships, children learn respect for others, social skills, and socio-emotional development. However, sibling rivalry can be detrimental to the child and a barrier to positive development. As a caregiver, it helps to be aware of favoritism, encourage effort over the outcome, and set clear standards for all children to avoid sibling relationships becoming harmful to a child’s development. Parentification Parentification is the process of when a child is given the physical and/or psychological responsibilities of a parent or caregiver. When a child goes through parentification, the responsibilities build and build, and result in the child taking more time away from themselves and putting more into their parental responsibilities. This may cause numerous effects like negative mental health, insecure attachment, and PTSD. LGBTQ+ Families Growing acceptance and legal changes have enabled LGBTQ+ families to receive recognition and support. Research finds that these families do not differ from straight, heterosexual parent families. Importantly, LGBTQ+ parents are equally capable of marrying and raising children and deserve recognition just as any other family type. Blended Families Blended families occur when a divorced parent with a child remarries, sometimes with the new spouse also having children, referred to as stepfamilies. New step-siblings endure a huge transition while parents are living their newfound happiness. These changes can pose challenges. If not resolved, they can lead to negative dynamics. Planning, giving the children time, bonding, and maintaining the quality of the marriage are just a few ways to support a blended family. Counseling and therapy can be a great help, too, to help family members navigate this new situation. Adoptive and Foster Families Adoptive parents permanently take in a child who is not biologically theirs, but foster families take in nonbiological children temporarily until another situation comes along. In either case, these families have a unique dynamic where the child experiences grief, which can be ambiguous when the parent is physically absent but not psychologically. These families may also include kinship caregivers, such as grandparents or other extended family members who become primary caregiver(s). These families are just as capable of healthy family dynamics as biological families. Resources for Understanding Family Dynamics National Resources The National Family Support Network Child Welfare Information Gateway National Stepfamily Resource Center Center for the Study of Social Policy Local Resources Family Resources Hello Baby PERSAD Center City of Pittsburg Gender Equity Commission Angels’ Place University of Pittsburgh Youth and Family Research Program Learn more Additional resources and information can be found on the Trying Together website. Download a PDF version of this resource.
How to Ask for and Receive Help Are you always willing to help others but you don’t like asking for help? Ask for Help Caring for yourself is one of the most important, yet one of the most often forgotten, things you can do as a parent or a caregiver. Caring for others is one of the most selfless things someone can do, and requesting assistance might feel selfish or daunting. According to Psychology Today, we live “in a society that praises self-help and self-reliance, [and] it is becoming increasingly difficult for us to ask our colleagues, friends, and even our family for the assistance we need. The mere thought of needing help from others can eat away at our ego, undermine our confidence, make us question our abilities, and even paralyze us with anxiety.” However, accepting help is necessary because when you take care of your own needs, the person (or people) you care for will benefit, too. Make it a Habit Allowing those around you to support you not only eases your responsibility load but can give someone who is helping a feeling of worth. Here are a few ways to make asking for and receiving help a habit: Say yes. When someone offers to help you with a task, practice saying yes. Even if it seems like a mundane task, such as making a meal or picking up your child from school, it’s one less thing you have on your plate. Examine your beliefs on receiving. For example: What’s stopping you from accepting assistance from others? Do you feel that you don’t deserve to receive love or support? If so, why do you feel that way? Allow others to give. It takes two to give and receive, and consistently rejecting help from willing people can create roadblocks in a relationship. Let those you trust know when you feel like you’re approaching the point of needing support or a step back. Give them time to prepare themselves so that they can be more effective when you do reach out. Make a List of Helpers Spend some time thinking about your friends, neighbors, or family members who you consider your support team. Ask them if it’s ok to count on them for support when you need it. It could make things easier to keep a handy list of people you know willing to help with certain tasks – such as meal planning, child care, moral support, or other specific tasks. Also, keep a list of people who have offered their help to you at some point. Even though you might never call upon these people, having the tangible proof that you are surrounded by support can ease stress. Download a PDF to help keep track of your helpers.
A Guide to Caring for Yourself While Caring for Others Parents and caregivers of young children are tasked with ensuring that their children’s needs are met. While it can seem impossible to juggle both your needs and your family’s everyday needs, make sure to prioritize your well-being as a parent or caregiver. This will not only benefit your health and well-being but will also benefit your family. Importance of Self-Care It’s easy to confuse self-care with self-indulgent behavior. This mentality might make you feel guilty for thinking you need to take a break from your life to do something that makes you feel better. The reality is that self-care is the practice of taking good care of your body, your mind, and your soul every day. Repeatedly putting the needs of others before your own can create stress, burnout, and resentment. Stress that’s left unchecked can contribute to many health problems, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. When you neglect yourself, you reduce your effectiveness in caring for others. Put it to Practice When you’re taking care of others, sometimes it seems like there isn’t enough time to ensure that your needs are met. You can begin to take steps toward better self-care by making small changes to your daily or weekly routine. Consider the following: Practice healthy habits – eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, make time to exercise regularly, and stay on top of your medical appointments. Talk to someone – reach out to friends or family to build a sense of belonging. Consider joining a support group to make new friends. Try to do something you enjoy every day – Dance to a song you enjoy, watch a TV show, paint, read, etc. even if it’s just for 10 or 15 minutes. Find ways to relax – Take a walk, meditate, practice deep breathing, get a massage, or take a bath. Build a self-care kit – Fill it with little things that you can use when you have a moment to yourself or if you need a pick-me-up – snacks, little gifts like socks or lotion, affirmations, jokes, or a gift card for when you have more time to do something. Create a Checklist A self-care checklist can serve as a guide to help you maintain your designated habits. It is meant to help you monitor yourself and see whether or not you are complying. It is also intended to help you track your progress and revise your plan accordingly if needed. Consider the following when filling out your checklist: Set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely) goals for taking care of yourself. Set aside some time each day to decompress. For example, download a meditation app and meditate for five minutes before you go to sleep. Disconnect from email, social media, and mindless scrolling. If you find yourself reaching for the phone when you’re trying to relax, try putting it in another room. Quick bursts of indulgence are not a sustainable route to health and happiness, so self-care should not be a temporary practice. Make self-care a long-lasting habit. Printable Daily Self-Care Checklist Download a printable self-care checklist to monitor how you will build self-care into a daily habit.
October 4, 2021 Transitions, Routines, and Rituals: What are They and Why Do They Matter? Learn how routines and rituals can help. From the moment a child is born, they experience a significant change in their environment or experience, also known as a transition. After leaving the womb, they take their first breath and begin feeding, no longer relying on the placenta for oxygen or nutrients. While this transition is significant, early childhood is filled with many others. To support families in navigating transitions, Trying Together developed the following family resource. It includes information on transitions, routines, rituals, and strategies families can use to help their children work through changes in routine successfully. Download this resource as a PDF in English and Spanish. What is a transition? In early childhood, the term “transition” refers to situations in which children need to move from one environment, activity, or experience to another. Common transitions include: shifting from a state of energized excitement to a state of sleepy calm for bed, moving from home-based parental care or child care to kindergarten, moving to a new house, neighborhood, or state, and losing a loved one through death, divorce, or separation. It can be hard for young children to navigate these transitions, especially when they include things they are not familiar with. Although it may not always seem like it, children crave consistency. In fact, they thrive when they have it. So it is understandable that when something changes their day-to-day experience or challenges them to switch from something they like to something they do not like, they are going to resist or feel hesitant. These transitions often include multiple steps as well, which can confuse or overwhelm children in the moment. That is why it is important to talk to children about the transition before it happens. That way, they know what to expect and have time to prepare. What support can families offer during transitions? Families can navigate and work through transitions together by: creating a consistent family schedule that includes routines and rituals, describing what the transition will look like and how it may feel, asking your child how they are feeling and what they want to know, using vocal visual timers to let children know when a transition is coming, offering children choices when possible to give them a sense of control, adding playfulness to your transition through song, dance, rhymes, or movement, and teaching children mindfulness strategies like belly breathing or mindful coloring. What are routines and rituals? One way to add consistency into your child’s life is through a family schedule. These schedules typically consist of several routines throughout the day, such as morning routines, bedtime routines, and everything in between. They are made up of individual action steps that need to be followed to complete a larger goal, such as getting ready for bed, taking a bath, or going to school. These routines are critical to a child’s wellbeing, and it is important that their daily schedule remains as consistent as possible each day. However, another element to consider is the addition of rituals. While rituals are similar to routines, the difference between them is the intention behind the action. For example, if your goal is to simply get ready for bed, you might bathe your child, change them into pajamas, brush their teeth, and tuck them into bed. That would be considered their nighttime routine. A nighttime ritual, on the other hand, adds meaning to daily actions by fully focusing on the experience and fostering a sense of belonging. For example, bathing before bed could include a simple play activity while in the bath followed by a gentle baby massage and attentive, loving interactions as you change them into their pajamas. Instead of focusing on completing the action, rituals focus on the connection between caregiver and child. Why are family rituals important? According to the Evergreen Psychotherapy Center, children from families with meaningful rituals do better academically and socially. In fact, in addition to enhancing a child’s sense of belonging, family routines and rituals: improve emotional self-control and reduce stress, increase trust, comfort, and a sense of security, reinforce family stability and identity, and strengthen caregiver-child relationships. Examples include family mealtime, cultural traditions, morning snuggles, a special handshake during drop-off, and more. To learn more, visit: bit.ly/evergreen-center or bit.ly/rituals-au Questions to Consider Does my family have a consistent schedule or routine? How am I preparing my child for this transition? How can I make sure my child feels safe, loved, heard, and valued? Am I allowing space for my child to express their feelings, thoughts, and opinions? How can I incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives? Additional Resources Developmentally Appropriate Parenting Series Developmentally Appropriate Parenting is a family resource content series developed by Trying Together as an effort to empower caregivers to create high-quality experiences at the earliest stages of their child’s life. To learn more, visit: tryingtogether.org/parenting-resources Centers for Disease Control and Prevention The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website features information on building family routines, creating rules, communicating with children, and more. To learn more, visit the CDC website: bit.ly/cdc-routines Raising Children Network The Raising Children Network website features articles on family rituals, routines, and more with content specific to children at every age level. To learn more, visit: bit.ly/rituals-au Montessori in Real Life Montessori in Real Life has a great blog piece on tackling transitions with a toddler. Additionally, their website features blog posts on transitioning from naptime to quiet time, creating a daily rhythm, and more. To learn more, visit: bit.ly/toddler-transitions
How to Create a Family Schedule Create a family schedule that works! As a parent or caregiver, you know how hard it can be to juggle daily responsibilities. From work and education to meals and transportation, families have to organize an intricate schedule of tasks and activities. While it can be overwhelming, creating a family schedule can help with identifying what needs to happen when, by who, and for how long. Every family is unique, so create a schedule that works for yours. It can be as loose or as firm as you need. The best type of schedule is a schedule that meets your family’s needs. To get started, follow the steps below and work together as a family to identify what does and does not work. How to create a personal or family schedule: 1. Print out a copy of the Schedule Planner on pages two through five. 2. Fill out your family’s schedule priorities, routines, and wants. Start with yourself. When done, move to another family member. Depending on the size of your family, you may need an additional paper for brainstorming. 3. Add in your priorities, routines, and wants into the calendar. Start with your priorities and block off dedicated hours for those tasks. That will make it easier to identify open times for other tasks or wants. Invite your family members to make their own schedules. This encourages them to be a part of the planning process and helps them better understand their schedules and routines. You can work with young children to create a schedule together. Ask them to talk about what they do after they wake up, at school, before bed, and in between! If the calendar is not big enough, use it as inspiration and create your own! Make it playful by decorating it in different colors, writing utensils, stickers, and more! Or draw it on a whiteboard or chalkboard so you can update it as needed! 4. Talk about your schedules together. What looks the same and what looks different? Keep your schedule on hand, post it on your fridge or a wall, or add it to your phone calendar. Make sure children can easily access their schedules every day. Making copies can be useful for when children stay elsewhere, such as at a family or loved one’s house. Keeping at least the required elements of the schedule consistent helps maintain your child’s well-being and ability to transition successfully. 5. Review your schedules together at the beginning of each day and refer to them often. Let children know if something in the schedule needs to change on a particular day and why it is changing. Try to keep your schedule as similar as possible each day. Think About Your Daily Routines What must you complete? Make a list of tasks you must complete on a daily basis and how long they typically take. Examples include drop-off, pick-up, grocery shopping, working, bathing, cooking, homework, and medications. What routines and rituals do you have in place? List at least three routines or rituals (morning, family meals, etc.) you have and the required steps. What would be nice to accomplish? Make a list of tasks that would be nice to accomplish throughout the week and how long they typically take. Examples include activities, hobbies, and social gatherings. What is recommended for children? At least 15 to 20 minutes of reading per day. Opportunities to play throughout the day (imaginative, cooperative, nature, parallel, etc.). A variety of play activities throughout the day for children ages three to five and at least 60 minutes of physical activity per day for children ages six to seventeen. For more physical health recommendations, read our family guide. Recommended Activities List Consider adding these activities into your family schedule, or create your own activity ideas! For young children, it is helpful to write short words with big letters and draw a picture of the activity on their schedules. Common Chores Making and Eating Breakfast Making and Eating Lunch Making and Eating Dinner Making and Eating a Snack At Work Doing Laundry Doing the Dishes Taking Out Trash or Recycling Sweeping the Floors Mopping the Floors Taking Care of My Pet Cleaning the Bathroom Cleaning Up Grocery Shopping Common Elements of Routines Drop Off Pick Up Brushing and Flossing My Teeth Taking a Bath / Shower Changing My Clothes Putting on My Shoes Packing My Backpack Medication Homework Set the Table / Clear the Table Quiet Time Nap Time Bed Time Family Outing Fun Activities Going to the Playground Going on a Walk Singing and Dancing Together Spending Time Outdoors Play Time Creative Time and Self Expression Reading a Book or Storytelling Snuggles with Someone I Love Visiting a Friend or Loved One Watching TV or a Movie Together Talking About Our Days Together Dedicated Time with a Loved One Playing Tag Doing Animal Yoga Additional Resources Developmentally Appropriate Parenting Series Developmentally Appropriate Parenting is a family resource content series developed by Trying Together as an effort to empower caregivers to create high-quality experiences at the earliest stages of their child’s life. Zero to Thrive Zero to Thrive believes that the period from pregnancy through early childhood is an essential time for mitigating the multi-generational effects of inequity, trauma, and adversity. Their website features resources on routines, transitioning to child care, and more. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website features printable resources on creating a family schedule checklist, family rules, and chore charts.
Kindergarten Transition: A Guide for Families How to navigate kindergarten transition. The transition to kindergarten marks the beginning of a new era of parenting and childhood that includes longer school days, new relationships, and new family routines. To support families in navigating this transition successfully, Trying Together developed the Kindergarten Transition Guide for Families. Readers will learn why kindergarten transition matters, about common steps to prepare for, and strategies that can help. Download this resource as a PDF in English and Spanish. What is Kindergarten Transition? Kindergarten Transition describes the critical period in which children shift from primarily learning at home or in an early learning program to entering a kindergarten classroom. It can include the series of months leading up to and after a child’s first day. Why does it matter? A successful transition to kindergarten leads to better long-term outcomes, including: higher ratings of social-emotional competence, reduced stress at the beginning of the school year, and an increased likelihood of forming new relationships, improved academic growth in kindergarten, including an increased likelihood of reading on grade-level by third grade and higher high school graduation rates, and an increase in family involvement over the year. At what age do children start kindergarten? If you live in Pennsylvania and your child is five, or will be five by the start of the school year, it is time to register them for kindergarten! School year start dates vary from mid-August to September depending on the school district. How to Register 1. Identify which school your child will attend for kindergarten. Use Google to search for “kindergarten registration” followed by your town, city, or borough name. Visit each school’s website to view their student outcomes, calendars, enrollment data, and more. If you live in Allegheny, Armstrong, Butler, Fayette, Greene, or Westmoreland County, visit Trying Together’s Kindergarten Transition page to access a list of school districts, websites, and deadlines. If you live in the Pittsburgh Public School District, you can use their online tool to search for schools by grade range or your address. 2. Register your child for kindergarten. Complete the enrollment form. Depending on the school, this could be completed through a paper form, online form, or over the phone. You must provide proof of your child’s age (birth certificate), two current proof of residency documents (lease, deed, utility bills, etc.), and a copy of your child’s immunization records. Prepare these documents before enrolling. Some school districts open kindergarten registration as early as February and offer family events in March or April. The earlier you register your child, the better. Make sure your child has plenty of time to adjust to the new setting. What supports a successful kindergarten transition? Although the transition to kindergarten will look different for each school, family, and child, there are three key elements that support a successful transition: a child who knows what to expect, has practiced school-day routines, can express their worries and feelings openly, and has access to individualized support as needed, families who build relationships with school staff, participate in family engagement events, and proactively prepare their child for the transition to kindergarten, and school staff who welcome students and families through multiple methods (events, emails, phone calls, etc.), communicate regularly with families, and work to ensure families are prepared for the transition to kindergarten. What can families do? As a parent or caregiver, there is a lot you can do to help your child prepare for kindergarten. Set up a day for your child to visit the school, their classroom, and the playground before the first day. This will help them feel prepared. If you register for kindergarten early, many school districts hold community events for incoming kindergarten students and their families in the spring (such as literacy or math nights) and summer (orientation or kindergarten camp) prior to the new school year. Practice school routines at home (morning and nighttime routines, songs, using a lunch tray, walking in line, following a schedule, bathroom breaks, etc.). Start these routines early! Do not wait until one week before school starts. Practice skills such as dressing, undressing, tying shoes, and hand-washing to help them feel more confident using these skills at school. Teach conversation starters that your child can use to introduce themselves, make friends, ask questions, or assert a need. “Hi, my name is _____.” “I like _____. What do you like?” “Do you want to play?” Read books about kindergarten together before and after school begins. Ask your child what they are most excited about, if they are worried about anything, and if they have any questions. Let your child know that kindergarten is a place to have fun and make new friends and that you are excited to hear stories about their day at pickup. Relate this transition to a familiar experience they had such as child care, pre-kindergarten, or the first time they stayed at someone else’s house. If your child is anxious, validate their emotions and ask about their worries. Share a story about a time you were anxious and how you got through it. Send a list of your child’s allergies and medications to your school’s nurse and your child’s teacher before school starts. Label all of your child’s school items (backpack, pencil case, lunch boxes, etc.) with their name and your phone number. Create a pickup and dropoff plan and practice it, including who is and who is not allowed to pick them up at school. Choose a safe adult password. If the school allows, send your child to school with a comfort object. They may only get to see it at rest time but having it can help make them feel more comfortable. At dropoff, reassure your child that you will pick them up at a specific time and share your goodbyes. Lingering for too long can make it more difficult. Try to be positive. What might schools offer? An Open House event that includes a tour of the school, a meet-and-greet with the teachers, an overview of school expectations, and the curriculum. A Kindergarten Orientation Packet with information on school procedures, classroom rules, parent expectations, daily schedules, needed supplies, contact information, the curriculum, preparation tips, and more. An opportunity for new students to ride the bus before the first day of school. Discussions on services your child will receive through an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) if they require one. If your child has an IEP prior to kindergarten, these conversations must begin in February before the school year begins. Regular communication (email, phone, text) to provide updates, discuss your child’s interests and needs, and share resources or opportunities. If you speak a language other than English, you have the right to an interpreter and materials written in your home language (registration information, report cards, policies and procedures, parent handbooks, special education services, etc. ). School-wide activities that provide opportunities for children and families to socialize. If the school is hosting an in-person event for families, ask them if child care and/or transportation services are being offered (if you need them). For more examples, view this handout from the Early Childhood Learning and Knowledge Center. Additional Resources The Hi5! Partnership The Hi5! Partnership shares kindergarten registration deadlines, kindergarten transition information, and more with families in Southwestern Pennsylvania. Family Engagement Toolkit To reinforce parents and early learning professionals in their work to create strong partnerships, Trying Together created a Family Engagement Toolkit. View the toolkit to access relationship-building strategies, resources, and more. Individual Education Plans (IEP) For information on Individual Education Plans and the transition from early intervention services in pre-kindergarten programs to kindergarten, view these resources: A Family Guide to Inclusive Early Learning in Pennsylvania: bit.ly/iep-family-guide Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: bit.ly/ei-faqs Early Intervention Transition: bit.ly/ei-transition Support for Limited English Proficient Families The United States Department of Justice and Department of Education created a fact sheet that answers common questions about the rights of families with limited English proficiency. The document is available in Arabic, Spanish, Chinese, Cambodian, Hmong, Korean, Laotian, Russian, Tagalog, Vietnamese, and English. National Association for the Education of Young Children The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) website features articles on kindergarten transition, school readiness, and more.
A Guide for Families: Childhood Mental Health Childhood Mental Health Mental health is the overall wellness of how people think, regulate feelings, and behave. Mental health is important at every stage of life, including childhood. Download this resource as a PDF in English and Spanish. Mental health disorders in children are generally defined as delays or disruptions in developing age-appropriate thinking, behaviors, social skills or regulation of emotions. These disorders can cause distress to children and disrupt their ability to function well at home, in school, or in other social situations. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), symptoms of mental disorders often start in early childhood, though some disorders may develop during the teenage years. The diagnosis is often made in the school years; however, some children with a mental disorder may not be recognized or diagnosed as having one. According to the CDC, 7.1 percent of children ages three to 17 (approximately 4.4 million) have diagnosed anxiety, while 3.2 percent of children aged three to 17 (approximately 1.9 million) have diagnosed depression. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that one in five teenagers between 13 and 18 will experience at least one “severe mental disorder” during their life, as will roughly 13 percent of kids between ages five and 15 years. Common Childhood Mental Health Disorders Anxiety: Anxiety disorders in children are persistent fears, worries, or anxiety that disrupt their ability to participate in play, school, or typical age-appropriate social situations. Diagnoses include social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorders. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): Symptoms of ADHD include inattention (not being able to keep focus), hyperactivity (excess movement that is not fitting to the setting), and impulsivity (hasty acts that occur in the moment without thought). Depression: Depression negatively affects how a person feels, thinks, and acts. It causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function. Eating Disorders: Eating disorders are characterized by severe and persistent disturbance in eating behaviors and associated distressing thoughts and emotions. They can be very serious conditions affecting physical, psychological, and social function. Types of eating disorders include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, other specified feeding and eating disorder, pica, and rumination disorder. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD): OCD is a disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions). The repetitive behaviors, such as hand washing, checking on things or cleaning, can significantly interfere with a person’s daily activities and social interactions. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): PTSD can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, a death threat, sexual violence, or serious injury. People with PTSD have intense, disturbing thoughts and feelings related to their experience that last long after the traumatic event has ended. They may relive the event through flashbacks or nightmares; they may feel sadness, fear, or anger; and they may feel detached or estranged from other people. General Warning Signs of Mental Disorders Signs and symptoms to look out for include: Persistent sadness for two or more weeks. Withdrawing from or avoiding social interactions. Self-harm or talking about harming themselves. Talking about death or suicide. Extreme irritability or emotional outbursts. Drastic changes in mood, behavior, or personality. Changes in eating habits. Weight loss. Difficulty sleeping. Frequent headaches or stomach aches. Difficulty concentrating. Changes in academic performance. Avoiding or missing school. First Steps for Families Concerned About Their Child’s Mental Health Parents and caregivers who are worried about their child’s mental health should consult their child’s doctor and describe any concerning behaviors. Early diagnosis and appropriate services for children and their families can make a difference in the lives of children with mental disorders. Families play an important role in supporting their children through struggles and treatment. The CDC also offers resources and information for parents about common childhood mental health disorders, how to recognize them, and how to seek help for themselves and for their children. Visit: cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth. Local Services Pennsylvania Infant Early Childhood Mental Health (IECMH) Consultation Program Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health (IECMH) Consultation is a free resource offered through the Office of Child Development and Early Learning (OCDEL) that supports children’s social–emotional development from birth through age five within early learning programs participating in Keystone STARS. IECMH Consultants specialize in early childhood development and mental health and well-being. They work with parents and caregivers in the early care and education setting to provide onsite or virtual classroom observations; screening/assessment strategies for children and classrooms; implement a process to identify strengths and opportunities for growth; facilitate the creation of an action plan to support children and classroom staff; and provide Referrals for additional supports if needed. For more information, visit pakeys.org/iecmh. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Keystone Pennsylvania Chapter NAMI Keystone Pennsylvania is a grassroots, nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lives of children, adolescents, adults, and families affected by mental illness through recovery-focused support, education, and advocacy. Resources about mental illnesses and services are available. For more information, call 412.366.3788 or visit namikeystonepa.org. Steel Smiling Steel Smiling aims to bridge the gap between Black people and mental health support through education, advocacy, and awareness. Their 10-year vision is to connect every Black person in Allegheny County to a positive mental health experience that improves their quality of life. For more information, call 412.532.9458 or visit steelsmilingpgh.org. The Alliance for Infants and Toddlers The Alliance for Infants and Toddlers is an Early Intervention service provider in Allegheny County for children ages zero to three. For more information, call 412.885.6000 or visit afit.org. The Children’s Institute of Pittsburgh The Children’s Institute of Pittsburgh offers behavioral health services for children and adolescents ages five to 21. Their licensed therapists and Certified Nurse Practitioner work closely with each client and their family to develop skills to manage mood, thinking, and behaviors – making the move towards resiliency and healing. For more information, call 412.420.2400 or visit amazingkids.org. Allegheny Intermediate Unit DART The Allegheny Intermediate Unit offers DART Preschool Early Intervention for children in Allegheny County, ages three to five, who are experiencing developmental delays or disabilities at no cost to parents. For more information, call 412.394.5700 or visit aiu3.net. —- This resource was reviewed by Pennsylvania Keys Infant Early Childhood Mental Health (IECMH). For additional resources related to childhood mental health, such as social-emotional development or early intervention, please visit tryingtogether.org/parenting-resources.
Supporting Children with Anxiety Anxiety disorders in children are persistent fears, worries, or anxiety that disrupt their ability to participate in play, school, or typical age-appropriate social situations. Download this resource as a PDF in English and Spanish. Types of Anxiety Children can be diagnosed with different kinds of anxiety depending on what they are struggling with. Diagnoses include: Separation anxiety: Children experience great distress when they are separated from their parents or caregivers. Symptoms include worrying that they will lose someone through illness or death; fear of a separation event; fear of being alone; and refusal to leave home. Social anxiety: Children with social anxiety disorder are excessively self-conscious, making it difficult for them to socialize with others. Symptoms include panic reactions or tantrums in response to social situations; avoiding or suffering through social situations; and fear of being judged or appearing anxious. Generalized anxiety: Children with generalized anxiety disorder worry about a wide variety of everyday things. Their anxiety can be distinguished from typical worry in its excessiveness, duration, and lack of precipitating events. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): Children with OCD have intrusive thoughts and worries that make them extremely anxious, and they develop rituals they feel compelled to perform to keep those anxieties at bay. OCD can be diagnosed when a child has obsessions, compulsions, or both. Phobias: A child with a specific phobia has an excessive and irrational fear of a particular thing, like being afraid of animals or storms. Phobias are classified into five categories: animals, natural environment, blood injection injury, situational, and other stimuli. Selective mutism: Children with selective mutism have a hard time speaking in some settings like school or around strangers. Children become frozen and feel unable to speak. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 7.1 percent of children ages three to 17 (approximately 4.4 million) have been diagnosed with anxiety. Anxiety is best treated with either behavioral therapy or a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication. CBT is a form of talk therapy designed to help people recognize unhelpful thoughts and behaviors and learn how to change them. This type of therapy can help your child understand the negativity of their thought patterns and learn how to replace them with more positive ones. Helping Your Child Manage Anxiety Parents and caregivers can implement several practices at home to help children cope with their anxiety. When your child is distraught, scared, and unhappy, it might be tempting to remove their stressors. Avoidance will help a child feel better in the short term, but it will only reinforce their fears. The best way to help a child with anxiety is to help them learn to tolerate their stressors. The goal is to manage anxiety, not to eliminate it. Here are some things you can do: Work with your child to set positive, realistic expectations. If your child is anxious about their soccer game, don’t promise that they are going to win. Instead, express confidence that he/she is going to be ok and that they will be able to manage their fear. Listen to your child’s fears. Being actively interested in your child helps them feel listened to and understood. Try to resist the urge to downplay or dismiss what your child is telling you. You can validate their feelings without amplifying their fears by saying things like, “I know you’re feeling scared about _____, and that’s ok. I am here to help you.” Talk through their fears. If a child is anxious about a test, talk through the situation with them. What would happen if their fear of failing the test came true? You could talk about getting a tutor, working with them to study more, or creating a plan with their teacher. For some kids, having a plan can reduce uncertainty in a healthy, effective way. Coping Exercises Deep breathing: Help your child relax by practicing belly breathing, and drawing in air by expanding the belly. This slow breathing can reduce the heart rate, blood pressure, and stress hormones. It can also help relax tense stomach muscles. Mindfulness exercises: Work with your child to focus on what’s around them. Techniques such as focusing on what they see and hear can help ground them in the moment. Preparation: Prepare your child for situations that might cause them anxiety or discomfort. Work with them to plan what they can do to counteract those feelings and push through them. Coping statements: Develop some mantras and coping statements with your child. They can repeat these back to themselves when they are struggling with their anxious feelings. Examples include: “I am feeling scared and I can handle it.” “I am bigger than my anxiety.” “Anxiety is not dangerous. It can’t hurt me.” “I will do the best I can.” “Right now, I have some feelings I don’t like but I will be fine.” For more information and resources about anxiety in children, visit Nemours KidsHealth at kidshealth.org/en/parents/anxiety-disorders.html. Journaling Activity Families can use this journaling activity to have a discussion with their children about their emotions and fears at the end of each day. The prompts can guide the dialogue and give children the opportunity to express themselves while parents and caregivers practice the management responses and coping strategies outlined above. Date: How I feel right now: Today I am thankful for: Something that made me sad today: I worried about this today: What I did to feel better today: This made me happy today: I am excited for: —- This resource was reviewed by Pennsylvania Keys Infant Early Childhood Mental Health (IECMH). For additional resources related to childhood mental health, such as social-emotional development or early intervention, please visit tryingtogether.org/parenting-resources.
April 23, 2021 Child Wellness Brochures, Fred Rogers Center About Inspired by the legacy and work of Fred Rogers, the Fred Rogers Center created free, downloadable Child Wellness Brochures to support children and caregivers on a variety of topics related to child wellness. As Fred Rogers said, “Even in hard times such as this, you are just what your child needs.” View the Guides The Fred Rogers Center’s Child Wellness Brochures provide information and resources on the following topics: Grief, Addiction, Cancer, and Divorce & Separation. Hard copies are also available to order. To order copies, contact info@fredrogerscenter.org. More Information For more information, visit the Fred Rogers Center website.
