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From infancy through adulthood, social-emotional skills are intertwined with every aspect of our daily lives. These skills enable us to communicate our needs, wants, and ideas; build relationships; communicate emotions; and handle conflict effectively.

To assist families in understanding the importance of social-emotional development, Trying Together created a family guide. Continue reading to explore the meaning of social-emotional development and strategies caregivers can use at home to support their child’s development.

What is Social-Emotional Development?

Social-Emotional Development is the process of learning mental and behavioral patterns that impact a person’s ability to work through social and emotional situations. These patterns can be broken down into individual skills such as:

• • building and maintaining positive relationships;
• • working productively in a team;
• • recognizing, coping with, and empathizing with emotions;
• • resolving conflicts with others; and
• • building confidence in oneself and others.

In addition to the skills listed above, there are several others. To view lists of social-emotional skills, view the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s Developmental Milestones resource.

When are Social-Emotional Skills Developed?

Because social-emotional skills are introduced in early childhood, a child’s early relationships and experiences play influential roles in determining which social-emotional patterns they develop. While these patterns can be difficult to break, individuals continue to develop and fine-tune their social-emotional skills throughout adulthood.

If a child regularly screams during difficult situations, they may develop a long-term pattern of responding to tense situations with an outburst of anger. While caregivers should not demand their children to withhold their natural emotional responses, teaching children strategies to express and cope with their emotions effectively can help. Caregivers should strive to create a safe, nurturing environment in which children feel safe in expressing their thoughts and emotions.

Strategies for Caregivers

• • If you find yourself struggling with your own social-emotional responses as a caregiver, these strategies can guide you in further developing your toolkit and modeling these strategies.

Children practice social-emotional skills during play.

• • Provide your child with opportunities to play independently, with caregivers, and with children. Include different types of play, such as nature play, imaginative play, cooperative play, etc.

When your child is experiencing a big emotion, avoid saying “calm down” or “don’t be sad/mad.”

This teaches children that certain emotions are “bad” and should not be expressed or shared. Instead, help them recognize, name, and work through what they are feeling. Examples:

• • “When Mya took your toy, you started crying. It must have been hard for her to take that toy from you. How are you feeling? Did you feel sad?”
• • “I see that Juan stepped on your favorite shirt. It doesn’t feel nice when someone steps on something you like, huh? How did you feel when that happened?”
• • Explore different emotion/feeling words together so your child can better identify and express what they are feeling.

No matter what age your child is, have back and forth interactions with them.

• • Make eye contact with your child and show them different facial expressions.
• • If a baby coos at you, reciprocate that interaction with your own sound, a smile, or whatever feels right in the moment.
• • If a toddler shows you something, pay attention and ask questions about it.
• • If your child is having a hard time writing letters or adding numbers, empathize with what your child may be feeling (anger, frustration, sadness, shame), help them recognize those emotions, and help them practice the task at hand.
• • Model the social-emotional skills you would like your child to develop. If you would like your child to share with others, make sure they see you sharing with others. If you would like them to wait for their turn, show them situations where you are waiting patiently (in a grocery store, to use the restroom, etc.)
• • Talk through situations where you are practicing a social-emotional skill in front of your child. Think of it as narrating the situation and the thoughts you have about sharing your favorite snack, resolving a conflict, etc.
• • Create a safe space in your home where your child can go to relax. While children should feel safe to come to you with their emotions, they also need a place to go to process their emotions alone. Add their favorite items in their safe space. Children should never be forced to go to their safe space.

Practice mindfulness techniques with your child.

• • Tell them that it is okay to take a pause to process their feelings and help them practice this skill. They can take a few deep breaths, drink some water, count to five, or hug a stuffed animal. See this Mindfulness Guide from the New York Times for more mindfulness ideas.

Do not solve all of your child’s problems.

• • To develop independence and self-confidence, children need to work through their challenges independently (reaching a toy that is too far away, resolving a conflict, etc.). If the situation is unsafe, step in. But if it involves lower levels of risk, give your child a chance to solve the issue.

Help children share their ideas and opinions.

• • One way to encourage respect and shared decision-making is by introducing the concept of voting. If a decision needs to be made about a shared experience (play, snack, etc.), have children share their ideas and vote to decide the outcome. Ideas that do not win can be incorporated during the next play session.

Praising children for their effort, not the outcome.

• • This builds their self-confidence, persistence, and resiliency to challenges or failure. You communicate that their effort matters and, regardless of the outcome, you are proud of them.

Resources

If you are interested in learning more about social-emotional development and other early childhood topics, consider utilizing the resources listed below.

Developmentally Appropriate Parenting Series

Developmentally Appropriate Parenting is a family resource content series developed by Trying Together as an effort to empower caregivers to create high-quality experiences at the earliest stages of their child’s life.

ZERO TO THREE

ZERO TO THREE works to ensure that all babies and toddlers have a strong start in life. Visit their website to access their online resources to learn more about empathy development, self-esteem, developing social-emotional skills, and more.

NAEYC

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) works to promote high-quality early learning for all young children, birth through age eight, by connecting early childhood practice, policy, and research. Their website includes resources on building social-emotional skills at home, working through challenging behaviors, and more.

Fred Rogers Productions

In the television series “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood,” Fred Rogers explores several social-emotional skills such as empathy, imagination, self-esteem, and self-control. Watch recordings of the episodes on the Fred Rogers Productions website.

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Download this resource as a printable PDF document (English)(Español).

 

Why does it matter?

As the caregiver of a young child, you may have heard of physical skills such as crawling and running; cognitive skills such as long-term memory and pattern recognition; and academic skills such as reading and subtraction. However, have you heard of social-emotional skills?

Social-emotional skills act as the backbone for conversations, relationships, and a person’s ability to work through emotions in a healthy, productive way. To succeed in school, the workplace, and their personal lives, children need to develop social-emotional skills. Without them, children are more likely to experience difficulties maintaining relationships, self-regulating their emotions, and demonstrating self-control throughout their lifetimes.

Children’s early experiences with their loved ones have a big influence on what skills they develop. Because of this, caregivers must consider what social-emotional skills or patterns they are modeling or practicing themselves. Children develop skills and patterns based on what they were taught or exposed to in early childhood. While these patterns can change over time (in childhood and adulthood), the earlier a child practices these skills, the better.

Trying Together created this family guide to define social-emotional skills and highlight at-home activities caregivers can use to support their child’s development.

Social-Emotional Skills

Examples of social-emotional skills include, but are not limited to, the following:

• • building positive relationships with other children and adults;
• • being able to recognize non-verbal cues and maintain eye contact;
• • displaying confidence in themselves and others;
• • displaying respect for other people’s feelings, ideas, and opinions;
• • displaying self-control and patience;
• • listens and pays attention to others;
• • recognizing their own and other people’s emotions;
• • sharing toys or materials with other children; and
• • working together with other children or adults.

By practicing these skills, young children will develop a toolkit of social-emotional skills that will help them navigate interpersonal (with others) and intrapersonal (with self) situations. For information about social-emotional developmental milestones by age, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website.

At-Home Activities

• • A simple game of peekaboo provides a chance for children to make eye contact and exchange facial expressions with their caregiver. Try out different facial expressions each time you reappear to see how your baby responds.
• • Read at least one picture book per day with your child. While reading, bring characters (and their emotions) to life by changing your voice pitch, tone, speed, or volume and facial expressions. If your child can read, ask them to read out the character’s lines themselves. If they cannot, ask them to mimic the emotion or repeat a line.
• • While reading, pause before you flip the page and ask your child what they noticed about the characters, what they think about what is happening, how they would feel, what they would do, or what they think is going to happen next. Make up your own questions as you go!
• • Let your child express themselves through art. Give them a piece of paper, a canvas, or any type of artistic material and let their imagination run free. When they are done creating, ask them what it is, what inspired them to create it, and how they felt during the process. If you have multiple children, have them work on a piece of art together.
• • If your child is experiencing big emotions, show them yoga poses they can do to practice their breathing and move their bodies.
• • Try activities like this printable Emotional Sorting Game or have them make Plastic Egg Faces to help your child learn about different emotion and feeling words. Puppets can be used as a tool for children to explore or express their emotions.
• • Schedule a playdate at your house to help your child practice sharing, teamwork, creativity, and independence. If multiple children live in your household, that works too. Gather items like clothes, child-safe dishes, books, and more and let the children determine how they will use them. Card and board games can be used as well.
• • Create a safe space in your home where your child can go to relax alone. Ask your child what items, colors, smells, tastes, or materials make them feel better. Walk around the house, help them collect the things they mentioned, and spend time together creating their new safe space. Take time each month to ask these questions and redesign. Children should never be forced to go to their safe space.

Resources

If you are interested in learning more about social-emotional development and other early childhood topics, consider utilizing the resources listed below.

Developmentally Appropriate Parenting Series

Developmentally Appropriate Parenting is a family resource content series developed by Trying Together as an effort to empower caregivers to create high-quality experiences at the earliest stages of their child’s life.

NAEYC

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) works to promote high-quality early learning for all young children, birth through age eight, by connecting early childhood practice, policy, and research. Their website includes resources on building social-emotional skills at home, working through challenging behaviors, and more.

Playful Pittsburgh Collaborative

The Playful Pittsburgh Collaborative is a group of organizations dedicated to advancing the importance of play in the lives of children, families, and communities in the Pittsburgh region. Read their blog to learn about playful activities for children of all ages.

Fred Rogers Center

The Fred Rogers Center works to extend the legacy of Fred Rogers to today’s generation of children and the adults who love and care for them. Visit their website to access resources on simple interactions, child wellness, and digital learning.

Print This Resource

Download this resource as a printable PDF document (English)(Español).